We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective. – President Dwight D. Eisenhower
“What do you want?” It’s an interesting question, but do you understand what I’m asking? Without context and without emphasizing any of the words, I could be asking any number of things. I could be asking, “what can I do for you?” If I emphasize the “you” and add a little sneer, I could just be asking, “Why are you bothering me?” If I were a salesman I might really be asking, “How can I get you to spend as much as possible?” Like I said, It’s an interesting question, and like the question, the resulting answers are just as varied and interesting.
So let me ask you, “What do you want?” Have you ever honestly answered that question? Do you know what you want, or do you just think you know?
Hold that thought and let me ask you a seemingly unrelated question: Who is more successful, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs?
Believe it or not, each of these two men think that they themselves are the most successful. Robert X. Cringely explains why in a posting from several years ago:
When Gates speaks about winning he means WINNING, the whole enchilada, mastery of the universe. At this point in his career, every thought that comes out of Bill Gates’ mind is grandly strategic. Steve Jobs, on the other hand, thinks solely in terms of tactics, not strategy. His wins are today, tomorrow, next week, next quarter. He revels in every little chance to push people around and make things the way he wants them to be.
In this same article, Cringely wrote of Gates’ utter confusion as to why Jobs would go back to Apple. Gates said, “Why would he do that? He has to know that he can never win.”
Gates’ confusion is the result of keeping score for the wrong game. The fact of the matter is, both men have won, they’re just playing different games. They both had different definitions of success.
The problem, as Cringely points out in his article, is what defines success. Each of these two men are successful in their own eyes and each man is a failure in the eyes of their counterpart. The reason, as you have no doubt figured out, is how each man defines success. Since each man has different definitions, the other man will always be a failure in light of the other’s understanding. Bill Gates will always see Steve Jobs as a failure because Steve can never catch up with regard to wealth or technological influence. Steve Jobs will always see Bill Gates as a failure because Bill will never create the coolest toys or have the most loyal of followers.
Every day, it seems, there is yet another definition of success: to be successful you must meet this and this criteria; for a company to be successful these things must be true; etc. But those definitions of success are only true for the authors who write them. The true definition of success is embarrassingly simple: success is the measurement of achieved goals. It’s the measurement of your achieved goals. If you have achieved many of your goals, then you are successful; if you have not, then you are not successful.
The reason so many people don’t feel successful is because they have no idea what goals they are trying to achieve, or worse, they have taken as their goals society’s vague and unmeasurable definition. When you don’t know what you want - what you truly want - you are more inclined to adopt someone else’s goals; goals you will never be able to attain. As a result, you will always feel unsuccessful.
This brings me back to my original question: What do you want?